By Sarah J. Hauser
@sarah.j.hauser

“I love being a mom!” 
I hear other women say, beaming 
with pride as they dote 
on a freshly bathed baby.
And I wonder … do I? 

Do I love being a mom? 

Motherhood has broken me open, 
three times just below my waist 
with scars to show for it, 
a thousand times in my chest.

Do I love being a mom? 

Each day is a lesson in sacrifice, 
in how to tend to those who climb on me, 
those who need me, 
those who don’t always understand the potency 
of careless words 
of complaint, 
of defiance, 
of anger 
spoken to a mom who sometimes struggles 
to absorb the blows.

Do I love being a mom? 

We give up sleep, money, energy for humans 
who can never repay what we offer. 
And we will never ask. 

We cry over their pain as if it was ours, 
soothe the child bearing hurt 
hurled from an unkind classmate, 
let our own hands bleed as we 
hold the shards of another’s broken dreams. 

Sometimes, the good overshadows the hard, 
the smiles and giggles more weighty than complaints, 
snuggles or conversations 
more powerful than sorrow.

But what about when hard is just hard? 
When the scales tip far 
toward frustration or grief or anger? 

Do I love being a mom, even then?

“I love being a mom!”
People say that, casually, 
as if motherhood were a new coat, 
a new pair of jeans, a new recipe. 

Some say they love every minute, 
but I have to believe they, too, 
have cried in the shower. 
Did they love those minutes?

Do I love being a mom? 

If love is the excitement of a trendy jacket 
or a new kitchen gadget, 
well, then, I don’t think I do.

I don’t love being a mom
like it’s a style to flaunt, 
a role to try on for fun,
an ornament with which to decorate my life. 

Motherhood has tied my life in knots,
spilled my soul on the floor 
made me weep on my knees 
before the throne of God. 

Do I love being a mom? 

If love means your hard heart breaks open,
if it means you’ll bear scars,
shed tears in the car,
lose sleep and plead 
with God for patience,
for wisdom,
for rest,
for safety,
and for grace to redeem 
all the mistakes you’ve made along the way,

then, yes. 
I guess it’s true for me, too:

I love being a mom.

Sarah J. Hauser is a writer and speaker living in the Chicago suburbs with her husband, four kids, and loud rescue dog. She loves to cook but rarely follows a recipe exactly, and you can almost always find her with a cup of coffee in hand. She is also the author of All Who Are Weary: Finding True Rest by Letting Go of the Burdens You Were Never Meant to Carry (Moody, 2023). Find more writing and recipes to nourish your soul at sarahjhauser.com.

Photo by Jennifer Floyd.