By Ashlee Gadd
@ashleegadd

You know when you hear something once and it just … clicks? 

Don’t put popcorn kernels down the garbage disposal. 
Wash your clothes in cold water if you don’t want them to shrink.
I before E except after C. 

It could be a rule, or a guideline, or advice that just makes sense. The wires in your brain connect the dots once, and from that point forward, you know what to do. 

You put popcorn kernels in the trash. 
You wash your sweaters in cold water. 
You remember how to spell “receive” and “believe.” 

Boom, done.

But then there are other things—things you need to hear 5,000 times before they sink in and take root. You’re the kid at the pool who gets yelled at by the lifeguard every 15 minutes: “NO RUNNING!”

And yet, every time you climb out of the water to do another cannonball off the diving board, you cannot help yourself. You run. Even though the lifeguard tells you not to, over and over again.

You forget. Your excitement gets the best of you. Or perhaps you’re ignoring the lifeguard on purpose because you know you’ll be careful. Surely you won’t slip on the wet concrete and splice your head open. You’ve run across this glistening pavement countless times before!

Geez, that lifeguard can be such a buzzkill. 

What does he know, anyway?

***

Last December, I shared a photo on Instagram of me and my daughter standing in the middle of our messy garage. She had just told me she loved me for the first time, unprompted, and I asked my husband to take a photo to mark the occasion. I acknowledged in the caption the less-than-glamorous nature of the photo, and had to laugh when my friend Lottie commented: #normalizegaragepics.

We hear the word normalize a lot these days: normalize therapy, normalize mental health, normalize postpartum bodies. My friend Melanie and I love to joke about “normalizing foreheads that move” in a culture obsessed with Botox.

This is our fourth Coffee + Crumbs sabbatical. Every summer, I write an announcement post of sorts explaining why we do this. Four years in, I am fighting the temptation to do it again—to make a justification for our break, to defend our temporary absence from this space. 

But this year, instead of laying out a list of bullet points explaining why we take a month off, I want to try something different. I’m just going to tell you—plainly and simply—Coffee + Crumbs will be on sabbatical in the month of August. 

Because this year I felt God stirring a clear message in me: rest is not something to justify; rest is something to normalize.

***

It’s been seven years since I hit publish on the first post on this site. Three months later, at 35 weeks pregnant, I went into labor with my second baby. Convinced I was experiencing false labor, we casually threw a few things in the car (bless our hearts) before driving to the birth center. Six hours later, a five-pound baby was placed on my chest. The following day, my husband ran home to grab clothes and snacks and toothbrushes and everything else we forgot. 

My biggest request? I asked my husband to get my laptop. 

What I wouldn’t give to go back in time and tend to that version of myself—lying in a hospital bed after a traumatic birth, still bleeding, responding to emails as if my life depended on it. I wish I could swoop in and grab myself gently by the shoulders: honey, you don’t have to live this way. 

God has been untangling me from the chokehold of productivity for a number of years now, gently teaching me to separate who I am from what I do. I’m relieved to tell you I no longer need to be convinced that rest is good and holy, sacred and honoring to God. 

And yet. 

I’m embarrassed to tell you how quickly I can slip into old habits and familiar patterns. How easily I default to the kid at the pool running full speed across the slick pavement when God is calling out over and over again, “Slow down!”  

In Rhythms of Rest, Shelly Miller writes: “Choosing to leave work undone for rest isn’t a sign of weakness and failure. On the contrary, choosing rest over work is the ultimate trust in God’s sovereign hand upon creation. He is in charge of our minutes.” 

When I read those words, they settled into my heart as an epiphany I’ll never forget. Like the day I learned you can’t put popcorn kernels down the garbage disposal, the dots connected immediately. Roger that. Rest = act of faith. I’ll never view it any other way.

This is the first year I have mentally framed our sabbatical as an opportunity to trust God. When we take a full month off from this space, I am trusting God will bless our time away. I am trusting that Coffee + Crumbs will not fall apart. That people will not unsubscribe and unfollow us in droves. That the algorithms won’t destroy us after going dark on social media for 30 days. 

My worker bee mindset is prone to worry about these things, but every summer, God’s helping me worry less and less. I can practically feel Him prying open my hands. 

Give all that to me, He whispers.

For the next month, our team will cease work here. We look forward to seeing you again in September, refreshed and renewed. 

Our essays will resume on September 3rd, and our monthly newsletter will hit inboxes September 4th. Exhale will be open for enrollment September 13th-24th (you can get on the waitlist here!). And don’t forget to check out our upcoming workshops.

We’ve also created a robust Sabbatical page for you to enjoy in our absence. 

Thank you for supporting the work we do here, and for supporting us when we take a step back each August. We wish you rest, joy, and delight the remainder of your summer. 

“It doesn't take a trophy to make You proud
I'll never be more loved than I am right now.”